I first met JoEllen Notte at a sexuality conference called Playground, in Toronto in 2015. She was talking about the impact antidepressants have on sexual function and relationships and referred to this as “the monster under the bed”, the conversation no one was having. Continue reading “Sex and Depression: The Monster Under The Bed”
So, according to a bunch of recent stats, we (people born after 1981, sometimes referred to as ‘millennials’) are having less sex than our parents. Particularly if we are living in Japan, where various studies say that 45% of women aged 16-24 were not interested in sexual contact, a third of under 30s had never dated at all and 61% of men and 49% of women aged 18-34 were not in any kind of romantic relationship. Continue reading “All The Sex We Aren’t Having”
Now I’ve got your attention with the most Cosmo-esque title I can think of, this column is about love. When (if!) you decide to open up your own sexy bubble and include someone else in it (maybe you’re tindering/grindering/texting someone, pashing a stranger on a Saturday night, or bringing up a new sex idea in a long term relationship) start from a place of love. Continue reading “Four Tips for Self-Loving to Guarantee Great Sex!”
About 10 years ago, when I was living and studying in Dunedin, my flatmates and I decided it was time to go and buy our first sex toys. Our closest (and probably only) sex store was Peaches and Cream. We hovered outside for a few moments, before pushing past the R18 sign into the store. We were guided by a wonderfully open assistant, dressed in a kilt and black leather corset, through the aisles of costumes, porn and giant dildos to the vibrator section. Continue reading “Fucking Shopping: A Guide to Buying Sex Toys”
“OOOOOH! SHAAAAAMEEEE!” echoes around kiwi schools, kids putting down kids as they give the wrong (or right) answer in the classroom, drop the ball on the rugby pitch or receive an award at assembly.
What kid hasn’t felt that feeling? Hot face, sweat prickling palms, armpits, lower back. Stomach caving in, words stuck, body frozen. Continue reading “What Are You Ashamed Of?”
This column was originally published in AUT University’s Debate magazine (issue 3, 27 March 2017) and is the first of a bi-weekly sex column written by moi.
“Sex positivity is an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.” (Cheers, Wikipedia). Continue reading “Go Fuck Yourself”
- Sylvia. A Meditation.
I’m on a lawn chair, a giant green umbrella shading me. I’m half wrapped in a towel, the blond hairs on my legs spiked in response to the sea breeze. In front of me is a pool: armpit height water, warmed to just below body temperature, slightly salinated, deep blue. And in the pool is my Mum. Continue reading “I Come From My Family”