Breathing and relating: exploring a therapist’s heuristic experience

In 2019 I wrote my Master’s dissertation on my experience of being aware of my breathing while in sessions with clients. Below is the abstract from my research. You can find the published article here, or my unpublished dissertation here.

Continue reading “Breathing and relating: exploring a therapist’s heuristic experience”

Sex and Depression: The Monster Under The Bed

I first met JoEllen Notte at a sexuality conference called Playground, in Toronto in 2015. She was talking about the impact antidepressants have on sexual function and relationships and referred to this as “the monster under the bed”, the conversation no one was having. Continue reading “Sex and Depression: The Monster Under The Bed”

All The Sex We Aren’t Having

So, according to a bunch of recent stats, we (people born after 1981, sometimes referred to as ‘millennials’) are having less sex than our parents. Particularly if we are living in Japan, where various studies say that 45% of women aged 16-24 were not interested in sexual contact, a third of under 30s had never dated at all and 61% of men and 49% of women aged 18-34 were not in any kind of romantic relationship. Continue reading “All The Sex We Aren’t Having”

Four Tips for Self-Loving to Guarantee Great Sex!

Now I’ve got your attention with the most Cosmo-esque title I can think of, this column is about love. When (if!) you decide to open up your own sexy bubble and include someone else in it (maybe you’re tindering/grindering/texting someone, pashing a stranger on a Saturday night, or bringing up a new sex idea in a long term relationship) start from a place of love.Continue reading “Four Tips for Self-Loving to Guarantee Great Sex!”

What Are You Ashamed Of?

“OOOOOH! SHAAAAAMEEEE!” echoes around kiwi schools, kids putting down kids as they give the wrong (or right) answer in the classroom, drop the ball on the rugby pitch or receive an award at assembly.

What kid hasn’t felt that feeling? Hot face, sweat prickling palms, armpits, lower back. Stomach caving in, words stuck, body frozen.

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Go F**k Yourself

This column was originally published in AUT University’s Debate magazine (issue 3, 27 March 2017) and is the first of a bi-weekly sex column written by me.  

“Sex positivity is an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.” (Cheers, Wikipedia).Continue reading “Go F**k Yourself”

Dancing With The Beach. Reflections on an intimate relationship with nature.

wild catlins
Curio Bay. The Catlins.

Age: 21. In my final year at Otago University, New Zealand I participated in a dance field trip to the wild and remote Catlins, located on the south east corner of the South Island. If you travelled in a straight line, across the choppy Pacific Ocean, you’d bang straight into Antarctica.

We spent a week dancing on the beach, in the forest, alongside sea lions. We = our professor, 4 others from my class and myself. It was the middle of winter, the coast was deserted and we moved. In/with nature.

Continue reading “Dancing With The Beach. Reflections on an intimate relationship with nature.”

Rape, politics and policy

Last week, the Ontario Legislature Select Committee on Sexual Violence and Harassment issued their final report. It is a comprehensive, well-written document, an absorbing hours read (if you find policy absorbing) and makes some solid recommendations. You can read it – with all 67 recommendations – here.

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